For those who aren’t “in the know” apple boxes are basically just rectangular closed boxes of plywood of constructed in various shapes and thicknesses. They might not look like much, but they are the kind of thing you always are wishing you have when you don’t on productions. Apple boxes are for setting things on, pure and simple. From raising equipment, to art department, to coffee cups, to people: they are awesome. A full set of apple boxes, consisting of a full, a half, a quarter, and a pancake, will run you about $120 (plus shipping), generally. Being generally thrifty and handy with a saw I thought, heck, why don’t I see if I can make some. So I did!

The first step was getting the wood, which ended up, ridiculously, being the most stressful. I decided on a nice sturdy 1/2″ sanderply, which would give the boxes a nice surface without much work on my part. From my calculations I knew I could get a full set (with leftovers) from a single 4′ x 8′ sheet. The full sheets were too big to fit in my car, so I had them cut them in half, leaving me four pieces of 4′ x 4′. Always the genius I had measured beforehand to make sure the 4′ x4′ pieces would fit into the back seat. Except that, always the genius, they didn’t.

I’m not exactly what you’d classify as a “comfortable in the world” sort of personality. I like things simple, predictable, and well thought through– and the world is everything but that. Whenever I do anything out in the world, for some reason I always feel like there’s some old man who is going to come up and say through his scruffy mustache, “Well now what’chu really should be doing…” and then go on some long explanation as to why I’m an idiot and should be doing something the “right” way.

Well, there I was trying to figure out how the heck I was going to fit what was essentially a hamburger into a hotdog bun and, sure enough, here comes some old man with a tiny dog. I managed to keep my cool and not just run for the hills when he asked, “Need a hand there? Not sure that’s gonna fit. What you should do is–” I managed to interject a, “No it’s cool, I got it…” right before he could get the lecture up to speed. It was then my instincts kicked in and I started noodling around on my phone. Perhaps there was an app on there that would make my car turn into a cargo plane, or something to repel nosy overly-helpful old dudes. Thankfully the old man seemed put off by my intent button mashing and lost interest.

The immediate old man crisis was averted, but it didn’t help the larger situation. Luckily I was at a hardware store, and one thing hardware store actually have in abundance is stuff that can solve problems. I wheeled my purchase back inside so it wouldn’t get wood-jacked and bought some ratchet straps. Now, if you’ve never used ratchet straps, they are extremely useful little devices designed by the devil. You see, they’re useful but nearly impossible to figure out under pressure. Back in the parking lot I began desperately loading up grainy youtubes videos in my phone trying to figure out how to get the strap into the little metal piranha bits, fearfully keeping an eye out for any more old men. The youtube video finally started and in it an old man voice says, “Well, what we have here…”

After a lot of ratcheting I finally got the boards strapped to my car, and with white knuckles drove the long stretch of freeway back home, convinced the boards were going to fly off at any second.

The rest of the trip ended without incident, and I was able to retire to the safety of my workshop.

Ah, sweet respite.

According to my doodles, there were a bunch of different sizes to be cut. Because of their specialized use, Apple Boxes need to be fairly exact to make sure whatever you are using them to support is level.

The specifications of the different sizes are so:

Full Apple: 8″ × 20″ × 12″
Half Apple: 4″ × 20″ × 12″
Quarter Apple: 2″ × 20″ × 12″
Pancake: 1″ × 20″ × 12″

Since my stock was 1/2″ the tops of bottoms remained a straight 20″ x 8″ but the sides were wall reduced by an inch on the top, and the end bits by another inch on the sides.

The I cut out some handles with a router.

Next came the gluing, and some nails for extra strength. The nailgun is another tool I have recently overcome my reluctance of using, and has turned out to be extremely awesome! The idea of something that shoots deadly spines powered at 150PSI and is attached to what is essentially a bomb of pressurized air, had me sticking to using screws. But after some use I acclimated to the idea and treat it like one treats any firearm (don’t point it at anything you don’t intend to shoot, don’t look down the barrel, make a little “pe-tchew!” noise after pulling trigger)

After some “pe-tchewing!” the boxes were beginning to take shape. At this point I added the secret ingredient which is a middle support cut the same size as the ends for extra strength. I didn’t remember to take pictures so you’ll have to use your imagination.

The pancakes didn’t need any middle supports since they’re so flat. All they needed was glue.

After drying the pancakes were put to the router, and a small finger groove was added to the ends.

The boxes were dry and nailed together, but they were all looking a little rough. So out came the orbital sander to give them all nice beveled edges.

Oh you fancy huh.

And of course, they had to be painted to match the rest of my workshop…

Paint them any color you like, as long as it’s black.

Then came the final touch: branding.

And there you have it, two sets of apple boxes! I managed to make mine for $34 for each set (because I went for the nice wood), with wood left over. The math works out so you can get 4 full sets out of 3 pieces of 4×8 plywood. Which means you’re paying about $28 per full set for raw materials (with glue and wotnot).

Not a bad deal, and also extremely satisfying.

This picture was taken a few years ago and made into a large stack of posters that have just been sitting around, until now!

If it strikes your fancy and you’d like one to inspire your inner pugness, head on over to the buy section to pick one up!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with his work, Eddie is the resident pug. He likes cheese, contemplates life from the couch, and sounds like a hoover vacuum cleaner. He’s a very good dog, except when he’s not.

The function of the prop / set piece was simple – promote beer. In my most nerd-ious of fashion I decided that the secret to the beer time machine was not simply that it was powered by the beverage, but that in order to achieve true trans-time movement, one must be insulated from the continuum by the beer itself.

Following this logic I decided that the main element to use in construction would be cans. Lots, and lots of cans. And so my search began.

It became quickly apparent that I would not be able to drink my way to victory in this case. I would have to reach out to the world and enlist other beverage consumers to help. After some free-cycling and craigs-listing some sources of cans came up. A few car rides and some generous, yet perplexed people later I had enough cans to begin.

First the cans had to be washed. Oh, the humanity. We shall not speak of this again.

Mmm, backwash.

Next I began filling the main support cans with expanding foam, so they would not dent while holding together the other filler cans.

Now that’s quite a head.

While the foam was expanding it was time to create the basic structure. I wanted piece to be as light and simple as possible, so I stayed minimalistic.

Thinkin’ the size should be ‘yay’ big.

Also, since the focus was on beer, it seemed logical the chamber should be can shaped. Like most of my projects I had to employ some creative holding techniques as my imaginary friends don’t have free hands.

The curved shape was achieved by bending 1-ply board around the base and some temporary cardboard guides, and quickly screwing before any rebounding occurred.

I wanted the door to have a heavy look to it, like this thing was designed to withstand the intense pressures of time distortion. Naturally such a chamber would need a hefty locking mechanism, like on a bank vault, so no stray tachyons would zoom in and send bits of the traveler to the Kimmeridgian era (Yeah that’s right, it’s a real thing. It’s when the Gargoyleosaurus roamed the earth!) So to be clever I chose to countersink some can tops into the wood for the locking pins.

Good thing home depot sells ‘can sized’ bits.

After a lot of tinkering, drilling, and gluing the door slid perfectly into place!

Next it was time for a base coat. Had to be sure no pretty wood bits were visible. They haven’t built time machines like that since the 40s.

Then it was time for the fun part. Cans. Oh so many cans.

A part of me almost wished I could leave it like this. The sheer absurdity was kind of fun. But a primer was needed, this thing had to shine.

Wait, that’s not right. I said shine!

Ooh yeah, that’s better.

The final touch came with the lighting and the water pumps. I didn’t document much during this process as there was a lot of cursing and sealing of leaks (yeah, electricity and water is always great). But in the end luminescence and effervescence was achieved!

It’s even better in action!

Beer Time Machine – Bubble Test from Matthew Elium on Vimeo.

And thus the beer time machine was born. Happy drunken travels!

Also, be sure to follow the link and hit the like button on facebook to stay up to date with the latest doodles and other nonsense!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Matthew-Elium-Art-Design/165701696819051

Hubcaps Diner, owned and operated by entrepreneurs Rolla and Mike, is a 50′s style diner with a classic car theme, and has been a favorite spot for my family. I’ve done some graphic design and photography work for them over the years, but that work, while fun and colorful, had still been pretty normal. I’m not even sure owners Mike and Rolla were that aware of my wacky art side, but when they saw the pictures of the guitars they were excited to be the first to host a display.

Take a card!

Over these past months since the creation of the first flying V, I had put four other models of guitars into production: The Explorer, the Moderne, the Jaguar, and the Les Paul. Until now they had all been hanging on my workshop wall just for me to look at, but finally it was time for them to get out and see the world. Now my wall is extremely bare, looks like I need to get back to work and make some more to keep me company.

On a chilly winter evening under the cover of night we went in and did a little re-decorating.

Whenever I see this counter all I can think about is milkshakes…

delicious, delicious milkshakes….

 
I wanted to do something special as a thank you, so in secret I made a special guitar just for this display, the Hubcaps Custom:

 
As luck would have it, their logo translated perfectly into guitar form, and now the custom hangs proudly over the cash register.

 
So far the response has been fantastic! A big thanks to Mike and Rolla, and all the staff who have been so gracious in talking me up to the customers. Who knew a bunch of cardboard would have so many fans! If you’re in the area, come on by and grab a tasty burger and see them up close!

Also, due to popular interest, there are plans to raffle off a second model of the Hubcaps Custom. This super limited edition could be yours. More details coming soon!

And lastly:

I don’t always frolic but when I do, I prefer to

do it after drinking Dos Equis.

 
I’ve never been so much into the shopping or decorating thing around the holidays, but this year a ‘client’ (hi mom!) requested a little decorative miniature scene over the fireplace. When the word ‘decorations’ were suddenly turned to ‘miniatures’, my brain got interested. I had been under the weather so long I started getting bored, and actual work was still beyond me, so under a mountain of sweatshirts I braved the cold of my workshop for some distraction. As always, things started with some doodles.

For this project, I was able to put about the same amount of effort into calculating scale as I do my meals. I wish I could take more time making them fancy but when it comes down to it I’m probably just going to make a sandwich. Instead of going exactly 1/4″ scale, I settled on making my scale “small”.

The numbers are really just there to look like I did some math.

This was going to be your basic DIY paper craft project. For the stock I decided to use scraps from the templates of my cardboard guitar project. It’s a nice sturdy poster paper, glossy on one side and matte on the other, and dirt cheap. For the first pieces I began by drawing out some very detailed plans, these are the walls for the church. Let’s just say by the third house they weren’t looking quite this organized, but they did their job

The building process was pretty much a make each piece as you go so I started with the big bits to get a basic framework going.

Come Jebediah, we must raiseth the walls before winter!

As I was holding the first piece I had glued with glue stick proper paper adhesive I instantly realized I didn’t have the patience, and busted out the hot glue gun. Everything is better with hot glue. Plus it kept my hands warm.

After the houses were constructed I wandered around the neighborhood with a pair of scissors looking for some nice bits of foliage that would serve as my miniature trees. Of course after walking all around, the best candidate ended up being a bush in my own front lawn. A little white paint, some pillow stuffing, a mirror, and some bitty lights later and I had my scene!

Makes me want to build a snowman. Happy winter-tide!

In the meantime mind doing me a favor? Head on over to Facebook and hit the like button my “person page” [click here!] I’ve set up for my little slice of the internet! Yeah, it feels a little narcissistic (kind of like writing your own wikipedia page or something)

But I figure if I get that up and running I can send out updates and post doodles there for you who are interested, and not just annoy my friends. Also, if we get enough people on there I can get my very own custom facebook url! And not just that weird string of numbers (right now I’m user 165701696819051… great)

A few cool announcements are coming: some of my work is on public display, I’ll be setting up a newsletter, the site is going to get a little update, and in the coming weeks I’ll be adding some nifty stuff to buy (prints, posters, cards, ect.) and of course new projects are in the works. All this and more just as soon as I’m feeling better.

My dog eats kleenexes. Yeah, it’s weird.

And on an unrelated note, can I just say that Kleenex technology has really advanced in the past couple years? Seriously. When I was a kid using tissues were like like rubbing your face on a stubbly man beard. Now I’ve got these triple layered, lotion-infused, blankety soft hanky’s that give off a cooling sensation. What will they think of next? Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar?!

Alright, back to being sick now. Mrrrrg…..

I had already experimented with replicating household objects with cardboard for a music video I directed a while back, and one of those object happened to be a guitar for the lead singer to ‘play’. The final product was a little cartoonish but was perfect for him to rock out with in the video, and out of everything that was made for the project it was that guitar that continued to draw comments. So, not being one to pass up a chance to up the stakes I though to myself: “Hmm.”

Artists rendition of said moment.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have no experience with guitars. Or instruments in general. Correction, I have no talent with musical instruments. So perhaps making a fake instrument was perfect. The first thing I did was a little experimenting. Could I even be more exact and/or detailed with cardboard?

The first prototype indicated that with a little finesse fine cuts and details were definitely possible, it was my free-handed eyeball measurements that left a little to be desired. If I was going to do this, I had to do it right. So with the help of google, a measuring tape, and the local guitar center, I concocted some notes.

My guitar of choice was the iconic Gibson Flying V (because it’s awesome, duh) and after I had all my measurements I took to Photoshop, mocked up a template, printed it, and cut it into some sturdy paper.

I was surprised to learn that the signature flying V shape, which I had always for some reason associated with bad 80′s haircuts, was actually something developed in the 50′s. Gibson’s three signature designs, the V, the Explorer, and the mythical Moderne were so ahead of their time they were for the most part considered a failure upon release. It was only through time and association with popular artists that the guitars became what they are today. I found this interesting because if you take away any association and look purely at their shape, it’s extremely reminiscent of a late 50′s “vision of the future”. I think so anyway.

But enough history. This is about cardboard, and the next step was exactly that.

After developing my technique I have worked out the delicate relationship of what to paint when, and how and where to glue (the who and the why are still a mystery) so for this first guitar I was just winging it.

Yeah I’ll put some glue here, why not?

At this point I was beginning to see a little ‘guitar-ish-ness’, but as with most things the devil was in the details.

Since I wanted the knobs to rotate (of course) I had to do a little trickery with the body, and do all the detailing on the front before it was attached to the back.

The next step was a little laborious, as it is in the process of making real guitars as well. The frets.

Seriously guitarists, do you really need all these notes?!

Next we needed some hardware …

Oooh, shiny.

… a little shameless self promotion …

… and to complete the illusion. Strings!

The stringing process is an art in itself, and is probably best left for another post. But after some tinkering I got it all strung and fastened.

So there she is! Almost makes me want to learn how to play guitar … almost.

So for this piece I decided to go crazy, I would add in a new color…. gray!

Hey, it was more exciting than it sounds.

After doodling the base artwork and separating the base layers, I printed out the guides and assembled them to be ready to cut.

Then it was time to break out the exacto knife and get to cutting. It quickly became apparent that this stencil wasn’t only different because of my exciting new color, but also the level of detail. I was aware of this in the designing phase but said to myself, “Meh, I’ll just make it more general when I’m cutting it out.” Yeah, and give cookie monster a cookie and expect him NOT to eat it. So I spent the next few hours meticulously cutting out every dot and line my obsessive eyes could find.

At one point it started just looking

like gerbils had been chewing on it.

When it was all said and done their were four layers. A black, a gray, a white, and another black. In more complex stencils little floating elements are always popping up (like eyes, it’s always the eyes) so I decided to add a little more detail with the luxury of another layer.

Then it was time for the horrifying fun part! Putting down some paint.

 Mmm, saucy!

I had to admit that in the end I definitely enjoyed the level of detail, even if my blisters begged to differ.

Finally, it needed a frame. I didn’t want to bother with anything normal for the first one, so I just used what I had on hand. Cardboard!

It’s spray painted gold, so you know it’s art.

Well there you go! Humphrey Bogart… with a bird on his head.

After weeks of staring at HTML recourse sites and bombarding friends for advice (Thanks Martin!) I have acquired a basic knowledge of web-coding! Now let’s hope I never have to use that knowledge again. It can keep my memorization of the state capitals and basic algebra company in the back of my brain.

“I no longer see the code anymore really.

Just div, anchor tag, variable…”

Unfortunatly I’m kidding, I’m already working on a 2.0 design. Just need to detox with some art in the meantime.

Be sure to “like” my person page on Facebook or follow me on twitter if you want to follow my latest shenanigans. I’ll be sending out updates when I post new content, which will be very soon!

Figured I should leave a note to anyone stumbling across here, everything is still a little under construction. I am in the process of  migrating everything over from the 0.0 version of this blog (the one on blogger) as well as adding brand new content!

I’ll send out facebook/twitter blast when there is actually something interesting up here to see, and the site is officially live.

Stay tuned!